Photo Post

Today was the end of the month at work. Fun stuff!
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the weekend.
And my haircut!

Chai and William

William Brees


Brady Ray

Before I chopped off my hair


My Little sis (only 16 months younger but still my little sis)

My FAVORITE PHOTO




Love love love






Chopped my hair...for a good cause:) LOCKS OF LOVE

Mini Pigtails for yoga!

I donated it to Locks of Love

I did it at lunch. Great Clips does it for free and I thought why not!

Get this!!! The lady getting her hair cut before me was a cancer survivor but did loose a kidney.

That confirmed for me that it was meant to be.

Open up...

Playing around online waiting for my sister to arrive!
I was reading an inteview with John Friend on Yoga Journal and when I read this I giggled:
YJ: Do you have a favorite muscle?

JF: The psoas. It's critical for opening the pelvic and lower back area, which affects every other part of the body.

I giggled because what brought me to an Anusara class was just that...Sciatic pain caused by my psoas. And over the last few weeks in class our teacher keeps mentioning unraveling the psoas. I think the reason I am falling in love with this practice is more than the heart language and the grace aspect; but because this practice is both beautiful and practical. And the piece that I keep remembering our teacher say in class last week "In this pratice it is believed that we can open up to enlightenment at any moment, that it isn't something we have to practice and practice to eventually reach....enlightenment is available to you every day." Now that to me....is beautiful.

Also while googling and reading online I came across an interesting Anusara teacher that has MS. I find her interesting considering all the issues Denver has had with is legs and the inability of the doctors to find out the root cause. I read some information about her to Denver and he seemed to be interested. It is sad that so many of us has "unexplained" issues or pain and end up "accepting" it and just learning to live with it. Oh the teacer I was referring to is Hillary Rubin. Check her out on her blog (with podcasts) and on her websiteI am not a Mess




So I am just hanging out. The house is clean, I made Banana Bread this morning. I didn't sleep...at all. I have had some issues sleeping this week. It might be the Zyrtec! But what do I do. I have the worst pollen allergies. I can walk around with a throbbing head and unable to think or take zyrtec and not sleep? There has to be a balance right?

Last night after cleaning Chai, the house and vaccuming up lots of dog hair (Chai is shedding horribly!) I had a nice 40 min practice using Ausara 101 that my teacher let me borrow since my copy is on backorder. I followed that up with a 10 min. sitting mediation.
Denver & I had dinner and then hung out. I talked to Nicole for a long time until 1:00....told you I couldn't sleep! I miss that girl! But she had a blast at Dharma's class at the midwest yoga conference yesterday. So it was nice to hear all about it!

On a side note, anyone work with Chakra Balancing? I wonder what that is like? Wonder if I should look into it?

Oh yes and the results are back from my x-ray (not sure if I updated) but my spine is fine. No Disk issues! So after ruling that out and learning what I have over the last few weeks...it is my psoas.

Okay, off to read and wait.

Mixed Emotions

Last nights class was great. It was difficult and I had to keep my ego in check. I couldn't figure out why it was so hard for me to "get" Utthita Parsvakonasana
Applying the principles of inner and outter spirals, tucking my tailbone, lengthening my spine--all of it helped me with the structure of the pose.


We did a lot of work with inner and outter spiral in several postures.
We worked with rooting down through the legs and that felt empowering.
We also worked with widening the pelvic floor and moving the thigh bones back in most postures.
With widening the pelvic floor we worked with our Root Chakra a bit. Something I have not paid much attention to. I only worked with the chakras in Dharma Mittra's classes. So It is nice to revisit that.
Symbol for the Root Chakra. I find the symbols very beautiful. I've only learned the basics in regards to the Chakras. They always seem so illusive to me.

It is difficult for me when it comes to working with my pelvis/pelvic floor; apparently I keep everything tightly bound in my pelvis. So it is freeing and difficult to do this. I am exploring and enjoying it. In a sense I am loving it and also frustrated with it.
I am frustrated because it is like I am learning all over again and it really makes me think..."What have I been doing on my mat for the past 3 years?"
I know some people say; when you are ready the universe shows you the way (be it to your practice, your teacher, your spirituality)
I mean I love my previous practices; but I think I might have been lazy with my practice. Just assuming the postures and not activly working with them. I just showed up on my mat; did the asana and was totally out of alignment.
So when they say "just show up" it is only part of it. It is the first step in creating balance; to show up at your mat. But as referenced in the yoga sutras: “practice in all earnestness”

I believe I thought I was doing this….but thinking back I am not so sure anymore.

Is it healthy to question everything? I feel confused….

So I am having mixed emotions. Go figure.

So ; non-yoga realted. I have been eating like Crap this week. Sweets and just crap.
I am not sure where these bad cravings came from; I like to think I eat relatively healthy but goodness my diet this week has been shameful! I must clean up my act.

Also my sister and her two kiddos arrive late tonight/early morning. It will be nice to spend 2 days with them. I think we are going to the Aquarium on Sunday. I am looking forward to it!
Well it is rainy and kind of yucky today. I am going to venture out at lunch and pick up some fresh fruit and soup for lunch; changing my eating pattern now! :)

Migraines

Ugh! I have this sinus headache that is turning into a migraine and I am getting physically sick.
I am trying to avoid this; but I might head home soon to lay down. I can deal with almost any type of "sickness" but when it comes to migraines I am down for the count.. All I want to do is sleep in a cold room wrapped in a blanket.
I am too the point where I might pack up and head home.


Last night was all levels Anusara. It was a small cozy class. I had a lot of fun. The poses are ones I've done so many times; but with this practice they take on a whole new meaning and a whole new form.
For the first time I actually enjoyed Trikonasana!
I had a really nice practice and I am enjoying asana now more than ever. It is just so weird; the whole thing is still shocking to me. How everything falls into place. When you stop looking for "what you are looking for" it will appear.

I talked to Nicole last night and as always she is my "voice of reason"

Tonight is date night with Denver. I hope my head is better by then!

Core

So, I was told in a very nice manner from my yoga teacher that I should think about incorporating Core work into my yoga asana practice. She was very kind when suggesting it & I thought it was nice of her.
I know I am weak in my core and it is such an important area considering it holds everything "together"
So I am trying to think of some Asana postures to do this with. So for my fellow yogini's what would you suggest?

Last night we went to Zazen. I had a very nice meditation. I had some odd things come up. During the first sitting my right eye teared up and ran the entire 30 min...very odd. Then in my last sitting my left eye did the same thing!
Weird.
I had a few moments of complete calm, centered and those moments were lovely but I felt myself tense up and kind of feel scared. The whole sitting was "interesting" to say the least.
After Denver & I grabbed a little food and headed home.

Tonight is Anusara All Levels and Thursday is the Fundamentals class. I am trying to make it to 2 times a week.
I talked to Nicole last night for a long period of time. She understands where I am coming from and it is nice to know some people "get" it.
I've decided to focus my studies on Anusara for the moment. To trust in it and see where it takes me. I am going to practice one style, with one teacher and truly dedicate myself to this and see what unfolds. I am looking forward to some awesome workhops this summer by some pretty well known Anusara Teachers. So that is exciting.
I am missing John Friend in NC this year; it is too soon & I can't come up with the money that quick. So maybe next year.
I've always bounced back and forth with what I want to study, where I want to go, if I want to teach.
But honestly, where I am at right now I really feel compelled to study and work on my personal practice. I am going to put off teacher training. I think there was a reason I couldn't find the "right" place to do my 200 hour.
So for now I am going to practice and maybe in a year or so I will reconsider teacher training.
For now I want grow and learn really dive into this practice.

So enough about yoga. My sister and her 2 little boys are going to be here this weekend! I haven't seen her in almost a year so it will be nice to see them!

"Align and Harmonize with the flow of grace"

Yesterday Denver & I ran a lot of errands, then came home. I cleaned the house and we watched a Documentary on Thich Nhat Hanh.
Today was really nice. We got up super early, showered and headed to Sangha for Zazen. I was so tired and kept phasing in and out of my meditation.
After zazen we had tea and a discussion on Dogen and Zen. It was pretty interesting.
Then we were off to my private/theraputic session with Gina. It was wonderful. I was given key things to work on which will help my sciatica, my asana practice and my overall health. There were some things I knew I had to work on (such as my core and that my tailbone is always flying out there) but there subtle things I've never noticed before that with minor tweaking make a huge difference.
By they way...who knew Tadasana could be so darn difficult???
There were some things that my body (or my mind) rebelled against. It is hard to explain but my upper back was not listening and neither were my ribs. Nonetheless it was a great learning experience and a lot of fun.
There is something about this practice that I can't explain. I am only...what...a week into learning this and it just seems like it has been my friend for years? Like it melds well with me. Not sure if it is too soon to call it love, but hey I fell in love with my husband in the oddest way so why not?
Gina was so kind, encouraging and honest. All the things I believe a great yoga teacher should be. (Just my personal opinion)
So after practice Denver & I headed over to World Peace Cafe for lunch then home!
We took a late nap with Chai and now we are just being lazy. I am going to cook a pasta casserole and read.
This past week I ordered some items online so I can learn more about Anusara at home and apply it with my personal practice.
I ordered Anusara 101 (which is on backorder) and I received my book Yoga from the Inside out
Gina let me borrow her copy of Anusara 101 until mine comes in. I am interested to listen to it.
I have started the book Yoga from the Inside out and love it so far.

Yep...I dive right in when I am drawn to something an want to learn. I am geeky like that.
But it makes me happy.

Sparkles with a divine luster

Om

Namah Shivaya Gurave

Satchidananda Murtaye

Nishprapanchaya Shantaya

Niralambaya Tejase

Om

Translation

I honor the essence of Being, The luminous Teacher within and without.

Who assumes the forms of Reality, Consciousness and Bliss.

Who is never absent and full of Peace.

Independent and free, and sparkles with a divine luster.

This is the invocation for Anusara. It is actually sung in a very sweet melody at the beginning of class.
This is also very different from Ashtanga in the sense that the Om is very soft and the invocation is very "light"

Last night was my first class in the Fundamental series forAnusara.

I really really enjoyed it. It is like learning yoga all over again. Applying new practices.
Be prepared to be annoyed by my ongoing "gushing" of happiness and ups and downs through this fundamentals course. I may bore you and annoy you. But I can't help it! :)
This practice seems to really "fit"

My chaturanga changed, my downdog has changed and I really enjoyed how deep we explored each posture.

We did some vinyasas, Utthita Trikonasana (Triangle), Utthita Parsvakonasana (Extended Triangle), Parasrita Padottanasana A (Wide-legged Forward Fold).

I really like this approach. I don’t know why, because in the past I was the Anti-slow going asana girl.

I was all about working up a sweat and forcing myself to accomplish a posture.

I used to hold the idea that if you weren’t sweating bullets then the class wasn’t beneficial. I had the wrong impression of yoga and of what I needed from this practice.

I believe the 2 obstacles I’ve been faced with; physical pain and a frustration with my asana practice; have brought me to Anusara for a reason.

I am opening up to it; finally feeling gratitude for my practice and letting the practice lead me and teach me.

It is joyful.

I got a call back from my Doctor.

They are ordering an X-Ray of my Lumbosacral Spine. Thank goodness!

The pain is very dull now; but I really want to figure out what the root cause is so I can work with it.

Tonight is Mysore practice. I am meeting up with my friend/yoga teacher tonight. After mysore we are going to grab something to eat. I am going to take it easy with mysore tonight. Not going far in my forward folds in order to avoid irritating my sciatic nerve. I am going to attempt the entire first series.

What are your plans this weekend?

Dancing on my mat

Last night yoga's class was fun. It was the $5 community class which is taught by a recent yoga teacher training graduate. So I was able to get some insight on her take of the teacher training; which was all positive. The teacher last night teaches at 2 studios in Atlanta and was very fun.

She had a light-hearted approach to our practice. She asked what we wanted to work on and any certain poses we wanted to incorporate. Of course I asked for hip openers.
It was a fun class and I enjoyed it.
I think I will make that a weekly thing when I can swing it.

I am really really looking forward to tomorrow. I start the fundamentals course for Anusara.
I missed the first class last week but the instructor said she would review what they went over and I can still join in.
I don't want to sound so cheesy but it is interesting to me how just one class did something to me. I mean I left the class kind of confused. But I was confused and intrigued enough to start doing some more in-depth research on this practice. I spent several days reading everything in my yoga journals and on line.
The practice itself is new. Anusara was formed in 1997 by a Westerner (John Friend). The principles blend together 2 very old yoga approaches: The Alignment of Iyengar & Tantra.
This is what I know so far; I have a lot to learn. The more I read and the more I allow myself to open up to this practice it seems to suit me and feels right. There is something drawing me to the practice. So I invite it with no expectations and see what will unfold.

It is just an openness I’ve never felt before. I am in no way dismissing the Ashtanga practice.

As a very good friend said to me “We all have a Gateway practice that leads us where we need to be” I think she said something along those lines.

I owe a lot to Ashtanga. It brought me here, made me stronger physically and emotionally. But personally I want to do a practice that I can continue as I age. Something that is nourishing to my body, mind and Heart. I know Ashtanga offers that as well. But for me it is not doing that.

Perhaps this is why I keep trying to find the “right place” or the “right practice”

I am also happy that Nirvana teacher training isn’t training in one style. It describes itself as “Classical Hatha Yoga Teacher Training” so that is wonderful!

As far as Anusara I do like the philosophy behind it.
Aligning
Allowing
Acting

Yoga &.....pain

I had a busy but productive day at the office.
I also made it to the $5 community class at Nirvana. It was a small class but really fun.
The teacher was a recent Teacher Training Graduate from Nirvana (which makes me happy because I am pretty positive I am going to take my 200hr training)
The teacher was light-hearted and really fun. It was a nice way to unwind.
During class my sciatica didn't hurt at all. I kept in mind the alignment principles I learned last week and from what I've been reading; I need more work with this though. However, I felt awesome until about 20 min later it kicked back in.
I am a little worried because I am off of the steriod anti-inflamitory tomorrow and still in pretty bad pain when sitting.
I find myself standing at work rather than sitting.
So I am debating on calling my Dr. back and asking to get an x-ray or more anti-inflamitory.
Or should I go to my Chiropractor by my office to see if there is anything he can do?
The thing is I spent over $70 last week for my Appointment and perscriptions. So I am coming out of pocket again.
But the important thing is to getting this under control on a daily basis.
I would rather sit in pigeon then at my desk.
What would you suggest...because I am tired of trying to figure it out!

In different news:Chai is smelly!
She is getting a bath when I get in tomorrow!
Tomorrow night is date night; so cooking at home and hanging out with the husband.
Okay...off to bed!

Supplies

You know I really need to invest in some good yoga blocks! I have one foam one but could use 2 wood blocks like these from Barefoot Yoga

I could use these for working on Crow and of course my jump throughs and backs for vinyasas.
Blocks are handy!
Denver & I are also trying to meditate regularly at home. I can sit on a pillow or cushion for about 20 min then my body starts to rebel. At the Sangha they supply benches. I've noticed that when I use a kneeling bench I can sit for longer periods with little to no strain. So I am debating on investing in a kneeling bench (Denver might also make one similar to this one from Everythingyoa.com)

Speaking of meditation. I made it last night for the last 30 min of practice then Denver & I stayed for discussion.
It was nice; I really like the Monday night group.
We grabed a quick bite and then we went home. It was a long drive because there was a horrible accident. We ended up taking back roads and got home around 11:30.
All the while I chatted Nicole's ear off the entire drive. I love having someone who understands my yoga blabber.
My back is still wonky today. Not as bad as yesterday. I plan to go to the community yoga class tonight and take it easy with forward folds.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Road Trip Guide

Today has been nice. The weather is kind of yucky though. Rainy and Chilly!
I am getting good use out of the pretty Hoodie Nicole sent me for my birthday!
Speaking of my birthday; my sister sent me this book as a gift.

I started reading it last night as a nice way to unwide in bed before falling asleep. The funny thing is very early in the book Sadie (the author) starts referencing Aligning, Allowing, Acting. Which mirrors some of what I've learned aboutAnusara from articles and searching online.
So it might be a pretty interesting book.

Today Denver & I went to Zazen for our 1.5 hour medtiation. After we stayed for tea and hour of discussion. It was really nice. I really like ZenSpace; they are kind, informal and they do not charge for meditation or discussions as most other temples in our area charge $10-$15 for classes, mediation and discussions.

Speaking of finances:
I did receive a bonus (thanks to my very thoughtful boss!)
So I might sign up for the Anusara Fundamentals 6 weeks class to get a little more feel for the practice to see if it something I want to pursue.
Today we also stopped at Borders. Denver had a Coupon so I picked up Yoga to the Rescue for Back Pain. It was a great buy so I picked it up in hopes of doing some of the postures in my personal practice for my sciatica. I watched it today and it also mirrored some of the postures we did in Thurdays class.



So I am opening up and giving new things a try. I am also starting to save for yoga teachter training. I am not sure if I will have enough saved this year. So I am crossing my fingers! Even $25 at a time is something right?
I am trying to make sure I can still continue classes while saving for training. It is difficult; however I still need instruction from a teacher; especially with my recent issues with Sciatica. I don't want to further irritate it.
So I am going to manage the best I can saving for training and trying to get to a class at least once a week. I think it is important.
Not much else going on.
About to read and relax.
Enjoy what is left of your weekend!

Where I am going...

Have you ever had and A HA! moment? Where you start noticing thigs that fall into place unknowingly? See I've been struggling with my practice and spiritulity for several months--acutally I believe an entire year. Trying to find my way, questioning everything from styles of yoga, types of teachers, trying different religions and so on. Luckily I have wonderful friends like Nicole to drag me to Hindu Temples, try classes from teachers like Manju Jois and Dharma Mittra.

I have a husband just as curious and we've tried 3 buddhist temples in our area. I am very very lucky. I have had an aha moment though. I've always been drawn to buddhism and the buddha. I've collected figures for my home for years before entering a temple. When Denver & I were talking to the zendo instructor and we were asked "how did you come to buddhism" My husbands response was "Flo has these buddhas all over our home and it seemed interesting to me so we picked up some books to read"

And we did. Our Dharma Books have grown in size. Although I am not getting as much reading in as I would like since I am finishing up on my reading for the upcoming training. Denver is devouring books and we are learning from each other as well as going to the Zendo for meditation practice and participating in the Sangha. It feels...right.

So my a ha moment was that this has been in my life in some forms...I never paid attention to it! And this week after trying Anusara something was stirred in me. I talked to Nicole and told her I was "confused" that I didnt know how to explain it.

Well this confusion picked at me and I found myself reading online the last 3 days anything I can find, I went through my Yoga Journals and found 3 really good articles. I just wanted to learn more.

I am also moving towards the idea that I can still hold onto my love for Ashtanga while mixing in some alignment principles from Anusara and why not sprinkle some Dhrama Mittra Yoga principles on top!
This equates to feeling more balanced (my own personal perspective)

And see I met Marney. Another Yogini who talked about Stephanie Keach. I've heard of her before but didn't really know much about her.
So I did research and Marney & I decided to sign up for her 5 day intensive to see if we liked her training. Plus how could I pass up 5 days of yoga, teacher training and times with a friend for pretty cheap!
Since I can drive there, we are splitting the cost of our stay and we have the equipment to cook daily. So a cheap and fun yoga trip! PERFECT!!

So today while reading the material required for the 5day intenstive with Stephanie Keach...something struck me. It seemed somewhat aligned with Anusara.

So I went to her site to find out this:

Spend some time relaxing your mind and restoring your body's energies with Stephanie Keach and a Vinyasa Flow Yoga class. We will explore meditation, pranayama, gentle vinyasa, vigorous vinyasa and core strengthening in a fluid and playful manner. Stephanie pulls from many traditions, including ashtanga (series 1, 2, & 3), anusara, and zen buddhism to excite and invite openings on all levels.


This is my yoga A HA! I didn't realize Stephanie practiced Zen until I read more of her book and learned this in the meditation chapter. Which I found inspiring since after trying Zen, modern kadampa and Shambhala/Tibetan; I feel more connected and at peace with the Zen approach.

Then today I read the above, that Stephanie Mixes Ashtanga (my personal practice) alongside Anusara. Now to me this is a sign of some sort!! Or perhaps I am reading way too much into this.
However, I feel that paying more attention to my alignment will only benefit me considering my recent issues with sciatica. So I am even more excited for this trip now! :)

I also remember my first ever yoga teacher at the Newnan Health & Fitness Center. After taking her classes I asked what style of Hatha yoga we were practicing. I was very very new and she only called her classes Hatha yoga. She said she mixed Iyengar & Anusara. I didn't know anything about either practices until now. I feel her classes (now looking back) were much more Iyengar. But it is funny how things come back around.

I still intend to do my 200 hour training with Leigh Ann at Nirvana yoga. Because she has also studied with Stephanie, the studio is here in Georgia so for finances it my best bet.
Plus I really really like Leigh Ann and her style...she doesn't have just one defined style. The first class was vinyasa, the 2nd class was much more Iyengar. So I think it is a nice mix. And finally, I feel very comfortable there. It also feels....right.

I think I finally have some idea of where I am going. Now to keep up with my practice and let everything keep unfolding with no expectations. I find that when I really do this, when I really let go of any expectations and just things unfold, it unfolds how the universe intends. That doesn't mean I am a by-stander in my life. It just means I have no expectations good or bad. It is difficult to do. When I have expectations for anything, I always feel short changed or frustrated.
So the alternative is much better. If you've read this far...thank you for your interest.
Om Shanti

Piriformis syndrome

Yesterday I worked until 2:00 then headed to the Doctor. I wanted to make sure I wasn't messing with any disk issues and see about getitng an Steriodal anti-inflamatory. He said it was something to due to my piriformis pain. He did get me an anti-inflamatory. The OTC non-steriodal ones like Aleeve really didn't do anything. After a day of them I can tell a difference already. I am not having spasams nearly as much.
He said that if I have another flair-up they will do an X-ray to ensure there are no issues with my back and once that is ruled out then I might do phyical therapy for this muscle.
However, I am going to do some reading and searching online for what I can do on my own. I just need to make sure I am doing a lot of internal rotating of my thighs and working on my hips. The thing is; ever since I was a little girl I walk with my feet pointed kind of like a "V" shape with my heels together. My mother had to put me in special shoes to try and correct the problem. I still sort-of do this at times. It is comfortable for my feet to do that.
I just need to be more aware and concious if I am externally rotating my thighs and hip area.
Of course siting all day shortens these muscles which causes irritation.
Anyway!!
I slept in late because I couldn't fall asleep last night. Today is kind of rainy so I plan to shower, grab groceries, clean the house and read. I also will get in some time on my mat as well. Might just be a late day practice.
Tomorrow is Zazen super early and Sundays are my day to just relax without any expectations.

I pulled out my cookbook Vegan with a Vengence to get some ideas. I haven't been cooking a lot lately with my work schedule. This week I want to aim to cook at least 2 meals. Perhaps 2 casseroles.
Alrighty!
Have a great weekend!!

Anusara Yoga

Hola! It is Friday...Yay!!
I am so sore today. I went to my first Anusara class last evening. It was interesting.
My back is very very stiff; so I did something to it...good or bad I do not know.
The teacher last night was Gina Minyard. I really really liked her and her style of teaching.
Anusara is very different then what I typically practice (Ashtanga)
From what I gathered (which I am still learning) this approach is very much based on alignment and heart opening postures. After reading more about John Friend (the founder of Anusara) it reflected that he studied with BKS Iyengar for several years. Which makes sense since Nicole and I both agreed while talking last night that Anusara is similar to Iyengar yoga.
The class was much of a Vinyasa style class. It was focused on opening and we did hold postures longer than I am used to. It was different to focus so much on "scooping the tailbone" and such. I actually felt very out of my element and at a place of complete surrender.
I am still at no point to make a clear decision on this style. However, I really enjoy learning new practices.
I've practiced: Ashtanga, Iyengar, Power Yoga/Vinyasa Yoga, Yin, Kripalu, Pranakriya, Classical Hatha, Hot/Bikram, Baptiste and of course Dharma Mittra Yoga :)
I still would like to try out Forrest, Jivamutki and Om yoga which is pretty much Hatha I believe (Cindy Lee).
So it was nice to try a new "style" and it seemed to help last night with my back.
However I am very stiff today. Perhaps that is good?
I have a dr. appointment today to see if this is the piriformis muscle or a disk issue. Cross your fingers.

Denver sat at Zazen last night and met me at Whole foods for dinner. It was nice as usual.
This weekend I think we will relax and read and clean on Saturday and Zazen on Sunday.
How about you?
Enjoy your Friday the 13th!

Pain pain go away

So my Dr. will not call in another anti-inflamtory for me without seeing me. I totally understand (although I am not asking for pain medication) However, when I asked the nurse asst. if they could just refer me to someone for the back pain so they can do the X-ray of my lumbar to see if anything is bluging or might be the beginning of one.. her response was "She will have to see you first"
Well that bothers me because:
A) They've seen me 2 months ago for this
B) I really don't have the money to pay a Co-Pay and then be referred to someone to do the X-rays and pay another Co-Pay
C) I don't have the time to take away from work to go to their office and then take off more time to go the other Dr. for the X-ray.

They also said I would have to call back tomorrow to make the appointment because the front desk was gone for the day. I mean I could understand if I wanted pain meds they need to see me...but I just want a referral to a Dr. to see if there is perhaps something pinched. That way I can rule it out totally and seek some help elsewhere.
I just don't want nerve damage.
Today my left leg is numb from mid thigh to above my ankle. The top of my ankle is throbbing and I have spasams in my left buttocks (sounds so weird)
But this sucks. If this is going to be a chronic issue where it can flair up then I can learn to live with it. I just need to full prepare myself and know what to do. I just need to rule out the chance of spinal issues before I press on any further.

You would think that even with my on/off yoga practice (averaging 2-5 times a week) that I wouldn't have such issues. But go figure!? Regardless of how I got to this point; time to figure out what to do.
I LOVE hearing co-workers tell me that it must be something I did in yoga to pull or strain myself.
I doubt it. My family has a long history of back issues and disk problems. I also have slight scolisois that was diagnosed when I was in elementary school.
I really need a good Chiro, Doctor and Massage therapist...and the salary to afford them all!

On a different Note!
Denver went to Zazen tonight. I skipped out because I can sit for that long with pain. I stayed at work to get a little caught up.
Okay well I am leaving to head home and relax!! Have a great night!!

Sciatica Attacks!

I am fighting with a sciatica flair up again.
During meditation practice last night it was so horrible.
After meditation we wen to Whole Foods for dinner and I picked up some Epsom Salts.
When we arrived home I soaked for a bit and the headed to bed.
I attempted to get up and practice this morning but ended up sleeping in.

Tonight I plan to head home and practice. Chai needs a bath as well.Denver rmight be going to meditation tonight on his own.

The pain in my leg is not suitable for sitting for an hour and a half.
I could manage for 15-20 min perhaps. But anything beyond that is not helping.Today is busy but the weather is so nice.
Hope you all have a great day!

Gratitude

How is your weekend??
My weekend has been nice and relaxing.
But to back up a bit I went to yoga on Thursday at Nirvana. It was the level 2 class and only 2 of us where in the studio. Much different than the super packed class last week.
The flow of class was fun and challenging. I even got up into to crow (using a block) for a mila-second.
Then we worked on side crow and that was fun. I've never been shown how to actually get into these postures.
Typically you never address these postures in a Primary Series class and in a Vinyasa class I've never been shown different ways to actually set up and get into these before. So that was fun!!

Saturday I woke and gave Chai a bath (she stunk!) and I did a home practice mixingup Primary Ashtanga and some fun arm balances and inversions. It was nice.
Denver helped me with one Dropback and then I got up the courage to do one on my own (on carpet just to be safe)
All wen't well. I can drop back (with lots of fear) but can' t come back up. All of this was followed by a 10 min meditation and then off to shower for the day.
Denver & I ran some errands and enjoyed the sun. It was nice. We at Mexican for lunch and then headed home.

Today is just relaxing and hanging out. Just what I need. We juiced our veggies and fruit that was starting to turn so lots of juice.
Denver had Beets (not me...I don't like it, I tried it twice and not for me)
I had Oranges and lime and followed that with celery and other greens.

Here are some photos I uploaded over the last few weeks:
Snow from last weekend!!








I've updated my meditation space with 2 gifts from friends.
One is the painting from Nicole. It fits perfect and then a plant that my co-worker gave me. She has been going through some things and she has been out. I've been helping out in her absence and this was a lovely gift I found on my desk last week. It is so pretty.




Backbending in gratitude.

Good-Bye 20's Hello 30's

Today has been nice.
Denver made me breakfast and tea.
My co-workers took me out to lunch, each person took a moment to say something they like about me (a thing they do here on your birthday)

Each person pretty much said they liked that even if I am having a bad day I do not project that negativity around the office, also that I am always willing to help someone.

Those things made me smile and relized I've come a long way in my life.
I also received a $30 Gift card to Target from one person.
Tonight we are headed to seated meditation and dinner.
I tell you what...I am so tired.It seems that every day around 5 until 7 I am sooo freaking tired. I think I need to see if the anemia has come back.
I am not sure why I am so tired.
I average 6-7 hours of sleep each night and I do not eat much sugar. (I read all labels and try to refrain from the different forms of sugar that they try to disguise) Why am I SOOO TIRED???