Abs & Sinuses

So I realized something yesterday. At the gym we have this nice shiny new room for all the mat classes (Yoga, Tai Chi and Pilates)
It is adorned with a ceiling to floor mirror; luckily all classes are held with very little light (which is great so people are not getting distracted)
I did my very best to not focus on the mirror as well (they use to really distract me)

During Purvottanasana with a table top modification I caught a glimps of myself. My buddha belly was on display and to be honest this whole thought shot through my head in a matter of seconds: "Engage my core. Everyone can see that I am not perfect and hoepfully that makes them feel a little more comfortable in their own skin. I actually dont feel insecure at all."
All of that raced through my mind; then onto the next pose.
But what I am reliving now is the last part. That I am not insecure of my body. That I am not perfect in my yoga pants, but I feel wonderful and healthy and alive. So all of that overpowers any ego-driven insecurities I used to feel. Which would haunt me often on my mat.
Nicole has witnessed this first hand while at Kripalu and other trips. I would talk about my shape, size, inability to get into postures. All of it is just another form of the ego. She called me out on it and that made me think, rather than just feel sorry for myself.

Also, it reminded me that typically (from what I've read) yoga is not really a place where you are trying to obtain a 6 pack.
The focus is on a strong yet supple core in order to support your spine. Strong is key.

Another thought shifting event was during class on Thrusday where I practiced at Balance; I wasn't feeling so great so my practice was at a slower pace. I had to go into child's pose a few times and skip a few vinyasas.
What is so important about that; is that I am listening to my body rather than the ego. I wasn't trying to keep up with the person next to me; or really even care. I was listening to my body and not going so far that I could injur myself or exhaust myself too early in the practice.
All of this is pretty huge within my own practice and growth. Don't get me wrong; during some poses on Thrusday I saw other students get into some awesome arm balances and for a split-second the ego knocked on my door. But instead of listening to it I just admired what their bodies could do (after I tried it a few times myslef)
For me that is practicing from a place of compassion; not ego.

Also, I was recently called a yoga nerd. And I fully accept that term of endearment! :) Marsha said that is why she liked me. I am fully aware of my yoga-geek personality. I honor that side :)

On another note I am fighting another sinus infection. I thought it was just typical allergies but I am super congested and all that fun stuff that comes along with it. I am taking Zyrtec D for congestion. I want to find some ways to allievate this without going to the Dr for antibiotics if possible. I get these infections twice a year and it is costly and something I would like to try and get under control myself.
I am feeling kindof crappy physically but hope to get on my mat a little later on.

Hope you are all enjoying a relaxing Sunday!

On the "ego" side of things...I am ready for my hair to grow long enough to put it in a pony tail or pig-tail braids. :)