Where I am going...

Have you ever had and A HA! moment? Where you start noticing thigs that fall into place unknowingly? See I've been struggling with my practice and spiritulity for several months--acutally I believe an entire year. Trying to find my way, questioning everything from styles of yoga, types of teachers, trying different religions and so on. Luckily I have wonderful friends like Nicole to drag me to Hindu Temples, try classes from teachers like Manju Jois and Dharma Mittra.

I have a husband just as curious and we've tried 3 buddhist temples in our area. I am very very lucky. I have had an aha moment though. I've always been drawn to buddhism and the buddha. I've collected figures for my home for years before entering a temple. When Denver & I were talking to the zendo instructor and we were asked "how did you come to buddhism" My husbands response was "Flo has these buddhas all over our home and it seemed interesting to me so we picked up some books to read"

And we did. Our Dharma Books have grown in size. Although I am not getting as much reading in as I would like since I am finishing up on my reading for the upcoming training. Denver is devouring books and we are learning from each other as well as going to the Zendo for meditation practice and participating in the Sangha. It feels...right.

So my a ha moment was that this has been in my life in some forms...I never paid attention to it! And this week after trying Anusara something was stirred in me. I talked to Nicole and told her I was "confused" that I didnt know how to explain it.

Well this confusion picked at me and I found myself reading online the last 3 days anything I can find, I went through my Yoga Journals and found 3 really good articles. I just wanted to learn more.

I am also moving towards the idea that I can still hold onto my love for Ashtanga while mixing in some alignment principles from Anusara and why not sprinkle some Dhrama Mittra Yoga principles on top!
This equates to feeling more balanced (my own personal perspective)

And see I met Marney. Another Yogini who talked about Stephanie Keach. I've heard of her before but didn't really know much about her.
So I did research and Marney & I decided to sign up for her 5 day intensive to see if we liked her training. Plus how could I pass up 5 days of yoga, teacher training and times with a friend for pretty cheap!
Since I can drive there, we are splitting the cost of our stay and we have the equipment to cook daily. So a cheap and fun yoga trip! PERFECT!!

So today while reading the material required for the 5day intenstive with Stephanie Keach...something struck me. It seemed somewhat aligned with Anusara.

So I went to her site to find out this:

Spend some time relaxing your mind and restoring your body's energies with Stephanie Keach and a Vinyasa Flow Yoga class. We will explore meditation, pranayama, gentle vinyasa, vigorous vinyasa and core strengthening in a fluid and playful manner. Stephanie pulls from many traditions, including ashtanga (series 1, 2, & 3), anusara, and zen buddhism to excite and invite openings on all levels.


This is my yoga A HA! I didn't realize Stephanie practiced Zen until I read more of her book and learned this in the meditation chapter. Which I found inspiring since after trying Zen, modern kadampa and Shambhala/Tibetan; I feel more connected and at peace with the Zen approach.

Then today I read the above, that Stephanie Mixes Ashtanga (my personal practice) alongside Anusara. Now to me this is a sign of some sort!! Or perhaps I am reading way too much into this.
However, I feel that paying more attention to my alignment will only benefit me considering my recent issues with sciatica. So I am even more excited for this trip now! :)

I also remember my first ever yoga teacher at the Newnan Health & Fitness Center. After taking her classes I asked what style of Hatha yoga we were practicing. I was very very new and she only called her classes Hatha yoga. She said she mixed Iyengar & Anusara. I didn't know anything about either practices until now. I feel her classes (now looking back) were much more Iyengar. But it is funny how things come back around.

I still intend to do my 200 hour training with Leigh Ann at Nirvana yoga. Because she has also studied with Stephanie, the studio is here in Georgia so for finances it my best bet.
Plus I really really like Leigh Ann and her style...she doesn't have just one defined style. The first class was vinyasa, the 2nd class was much more Iyengar. So I think it is a nice mix. And finally, I feel very comfortable there. It also feels....right.

I think I finally have some idea of where I am going. Now to keep up with my practice and let everything keep unfolding with no expectations. I find that when I really do this, when I really let go of any expectations and just things unfold, it unfolds how the universe intends. That doesn't mean I am a by-stander in my life. It just means I have no expectations good or bad. It is difficult to do. When I have expectations for anything, I always feel short changed or frustrated.
So the alternative is much better. If you've read this far...thank you for your interest.
Om Shanti

Piriformis syndrome

Yesterday I worked until 2:00 then headed to the Doctor. I wanted to make sure I wasn't messing with any disk issues and see about getitng an Steriodal anti-inflamatory. He said it was something to due to my piriformis pain. He did get me an anti-inflamatory. The OTC non-steriodal ones like Aleeve really didn't do anything. After a day of them I can tell a difference already. I am not having spasams nearly as much.
He said that if I have another flair-up they will do an X-ray to ensure there are no issues with my back and once that is ruled out then I might do phyical therapy for this muscle.
However, I am going to do some reading and searching online for what I can do on my own. I just need to make sure I am doing a lot of internal rotating of my thighs and working on my hips. The thing is; ever since I was a little girl I walk with my feet pointed kind of like a "V" shape with my heels together. My mother had to put me in special shoes to try and correct the problem. I still sort-of do this at times. It is comfortable for my feet to do that.
I just need to be more aware and concious if I am externally rotating my thighs and hip area.
Of course siting all day shortens these muscles which causes irritation.
Anyway!!
I slept in late because I couldn't fall asleep last night. Today is kind of rainy so I plan to shower, grab groceries, clean the house and read. I also will get in some time on my mat as well. Might just be a late day practice.
Tomorrow is Zazen super early and Sundays are my day to just relax without any expectations.

I pulled out my cookbook Vegan with a Vengence to get some ideas. I haven't been cooking a lot lately with my work schedule. This week I want to aim to cook at least 2 meals. Perhaps 2 casseroles.
Alrighty!
Have a great weekend!!

Anusara Yoga

Hola! It is Friday...Yay!!
I am so sore today. I went to my first Anusara class last evening. It was interesting.
My back is very very stiff; so I did something to it...good or bad I do not know.
The teacher last night was Gina Minyard. I really really liked her and her style of teaching.
Anusara is very different then what I typically practice (Ashtanga)
From what I gathered (which I am still learning) this approach is very much based on alignment and heart opening postures. After reading more about John Friend (the founder of Anusara) it reflected that he studied with BKS Iyengar for several years. Which makes sense since Nicole and I both agreed while talking last night that Anusara is similar to Iyengar yoga.
The class was much of a Vinyasa style class. It was focused on opening and we did hold postures longer than I am used to. It was different to focus so much on "scooping the tailbone" and such. I actually felt very out of my element and at a place of complete surrender.
I am still at no point to make a clear decision on this style. However, I really enjoy learning new practices.
I've practiced: Ashtanga, Iyengar, Power Yoga/Vinyasa Yoga, Yin, Kripalu, Pranakriya, Classical Hatha, Hot/Bikram, Baptiste and of course Dharma Mittra Yoga :)
I still would like to try out Forrest, Jivamutki and Om yoga which is pretty much Hatha I believe (Cindy Lee).
So it was nice to try a new "style" and it seemed to help last night with my back.
However I am very stiff today. Perhaps that is good?
I have a dr. appointment today to see if this is the piriformis muscle or a disk issue. Cross your fingers.

Denver sat at Zazen last night and met me at Whole foods for dinner. It was nice as usual.
This weekend I think we will relax and read and clean on Saturday and Zazen on Sunday.
How about you?
Enjoy your Friday the 13th!

Pain pain go away

So my Dr. will not call in another anti-inflamtory for me without seeing me. I totally understand (although I am not asking for pain medication) However, when I asked the nurse asst. if they could just refer me to someone for the back pain so they can do the X-ray of my lumbar to see if anything is bluging or might be the beginning of one.. her response was "She will have to see you first"
Well that bothers me because:
A) They've seen me 2 months ago for this
B) I really don't have the money to pay a Co-Pay and then be referred to someone to do the X-rays and pay another Co-Pay
C) I don't have the time to take away from work to go to their office and then take off more time to go the other Dr. for the X-ray.

They also said I would have to call back tomorrow to make the appointment because the front desk was gone for the day. I mean I could understand if I wanted pain meds they need to see me...but I just want a referral to a Dr. to see if there is perhaps something pinched. That way I can rule it out totally and seek some help elsewhere.
I just don't want nerve damage.
Today my left leg is numb from mid thigh to above my ankle. The top of my ankle is throbbing and I have spasams in my left buttocks (sounds so weird)
But this sucks. If this is going to be a chronic issue where it can flair up then I can learn to live with it. I just need to full prepare myself and know what to do. I just need to rule out the chance of spinal issues before I press on any further.

You would think that even with my on/off yoga practice (averaging 2-5 times a week) that I wouldn't have such issues. But go figure!? Regardless of how I got to this point; time to figure out what to do.
I LOVE hearing co-workers tell me that it must be something I did in yoga to pull or strain myself.
I doubt it. My family has a long history of back issues and disk problems. I also have slight scolisois that was diagnosed when I was in elementary school.
I really need a good Chiro, Doctor and Massage therapist...and the salary to afford them all!

On a different Note!
Denver went to Zazen tonight. I skipped out because I can sit for that long with pain. I stayed at work to get a little caught up.
Okay well I am leaving to head home and relax!! Have a great night!!

Sciatica Attacks!

I am fighting with a sciatica flair up again.
During meditation practice last night it was so horrible.
After meditation we wen to Whole Foods for dinner and I picked up some Epsom Salts.
When we arrived home I soaked for a bit and the headed to bed.
I attempted to get up and practice this morning but ended up sleeping in.

Tonight I plan to head home and practice. Chai needs a bath as well.Denver rmight be going to meditation tonight on his own.

The pain in my leg is not suitable for sitting for an hour and a half.
I could manage for 15-20 min perhaps. But anything beyond that is not helping.Today is busy but the weather is so nice.
Hope you all have a great day!

Gratitude

How is your weekend??
My weekend has been nice and relaxing.
But to back up a bit I went to yoga on Thursday at Nirvana. It was the level 2 class and only 2 of us where in the studio. Much different than the super packed class last week.
The flow of class was fun and challenging. I even got up into to crow (using a block) for a mila-second.
Then we worked on side crow and that was fun. I've never been shown how to actually get into these postures.
Typically you never address these postures in a Primary Series class and in a Vinyasa class I've never been shown different ways to actually set up and get into these before. So that was fun!!

Saturday I woke and gave Chai a bath (she stunk!) and I did a home practice mixingup Primary Ashtanga and some fun arm balances and inversions. It was nice.
Denver helped me with one Dropback and then I got up the courage to do one on my own (on carpet just to be safe)
All wen't well. I can drop back (with lots of fear) but can' t come back up. All of this was followed by a 10 min meditation and then off to shower for the day.
Denver & I ran some errands and enjoyed the sun. It was nice. We at Mexican for lunch and then headed home.

Today is just relaxing and hanging out. Just what I need. We juiced our veggies and fruit that was starting to turn so lots of juice.
Denver had Beets (not me...I don't like it, I tried it twice and not for me)
I had Oranges and lime and followed that with celery and other greens.

Here are some photos I uploaded over the last few weeks:
Snow from last weekend!!








I've updated my meditation space with 2 gifts from friends.
One is the painting from Nicole. It fits perfect and then a plant that my co-worker gave me. She has been going through some things and she has been out. I've been helping out in her absence and this was a lovely gift I found on my desk last week. It is so pretty.




Backbending in gratitude.

Good-Bye 20's Hello 30's

Today has been nice.
Denver made me breakfast and tea.
My co-workers took me out to lunch, each person took a moment to say something they like about me (a thing they do here on your birthday)

Each person pretty much said they liked that even if I am having a bad day I do not project that negativity around the office, also that I am always willing to help someone.

Those things made me smile and relized I've come a long way in my life.
I also received a $30 Gift card to Target from one person.
Tonight we are headed to seated meditation and dinner.
I tell you what...I am so tired.It seems that every day around 5 until 7 I am sooo freaking tired. I think I need to see if the anemia has come back.
I am not sure why I am so tired.
I average 6-7 hours of sleep each night and I do not eat much sugar. (I read all labels and try to refrain from the different forms of sugar that they try to disguise) Why am I SOOO TIRED???