Today I was back up at 5:00 am and on my mat trying to figure out this thing I call a body. Apparently before 8:00 AM my body refuses to bend.
But after some encouragement it did start to move. I didn't have a very long practice, about 40 min. But it was what I could manage. Followed by 10 min. meditation. My mental frame of mind was much happier this morning and it wasn't as difficult to actually get out of bed. I am also journaling my daily practice to help me see patterns and so on. I am playing around with the idea of following with a DVD a few times a week. But then that would require me to hook up my laptop in my yoga room and so on.
I used to hate just flowing with my own internal teacher, maybe because it forced me listen to my body rather than someone telling what to do.
I love a class setting too! I love being taught new ways to get into/out of a pose and adjustments are yummy!
But sometimes the sacred space that you create in your own home practice is just amazing. It is kind of like this friend that is unwavering and always there to give you a hug.
Am I cheesey or what!? :)
Anyway, I am still playing around with headstand away from the wall. I fell once so that was my ego check. I needed it!
So I re-arranged my reading schedule of books. Right now I am starting Light on Yoga and reading a few Chapters of Moving into Stillness by Erich Schiffmann.
I really feel for the first time in a long time I am in the right place. I mean I have ups and downs.
Yesterday was a down for sure. I was very emotional and really grumpy. So I am not saying I am on this blissful plane where nothing sucks...because at times things do.
I mean budgeting for training, dealing with Denver's physical issues, my family issues and so on.
But for the first time I feel that I am okay. I can actually be happy with my life.
For a small example I can go a few days with out obsessivly cleaning my home. I don't have to run to the sink each time Denver puts a plate in it.
I can also chill out about the thigns that used to make me soo stressed out!
Basically I no longer feel compelled to control every aspect of my life. That for me is.....beautiful.
So I am embracing this experience and truly hope to build a foundation in which to live the rest of my life upon.
5 hours ago