Notes on my Practice...it is a LONG Post **you've been warned**

Yesterday I went to Mysore practice at Balance. It was great to see my teacher there. She & I talked earlier this week- we talked through some of my roadblocks with my teacher training & my practice. I am very lucky to have a teacher I admire and enjoy studying with so close to home.

I did get some pointers to work on during my home practice. One I keep hearing over and over from several different teachers "tuck the tailbone or lengthen the tailbone to the floor" which ever version you like best.
It seems (and I have noticed in my pictures and videos) that I have a sway back. My tailbone is always out there waving hello to the passers-by.
I mean it takes ALOT of concentration for me to lengthen it to the floor. It almost feels weird to my spine. I suppose this is an engrained habit that is going to be hard to break. And Of course I need to ensure I do not over tuck it taking the natural curve out of my lumbar.

Anyway, practice was sweaty. We agreed I will keep up with 1/2 primary (working up to Navasana then closing). This way I can build my strength and really focus on the quality of those asanas rather than moving through the entire Primary series exhausted and compromising form. So little by little as I gain my strength in the Primary series we will add more and more.

I can't explain why I found myself back in the Mysore practice or at an Ashtang studio. I mean I've tried lots of other styles when I thought Ashtanga wasn't for me. I can't explain what keeps drawing me back. So I try not to over analyze this anymore. Ashtanga is what is getting me on my mat every day...so why over think that (right Nicole?)

I am also giving myself one full year to dedicate to the Primary series. In November 2010 a group of us are going to for a week long practice with in Miami Kino Macgregor and Tim Feldman.
So I have a year to dedicate to this practice and I am not going to give up again. Seriously if I start questioning this practice again because my mind starts telling me "You can't do this practice it is too difficult" "why are you here" and so on...I want you guys to say No. You made a promise to yourself now keep it. Give me tough love! :)

So the reason I want to stick with this is:
a) I always give up when the practice starts getting to intense, or an injury- which in my head gives me full persmission to just walk away from primary series. But I shouldn't. I should just modify and adapt rather than throwing it out the window.

b) I've never stuck with a truly dedicated Ashtanga practice. Always letting my ADD or monkey mind swing me in another direction either due to boredom or frustration

c) By the time November 2010 rools around I want to really reap the benefits of a full week of mysore practice and workshops with 2 amazing Ashtanga teachers. I want to show up with my practice (at whatever point is will be at during that time) and just lay out at thier feet saying "here is what I've got to work with". I want to be able to gain something from this experience. I have a full year to work with. This should allow me to show up and gain some insight. Raher than showing up withe a 1/2 assed attempt to my practice (does that make any sense?)

In other Ashtanga related news I was able to purchase this amazing Pendant. The idea behind this pendant is so sweet and I was happy to finally be able to contribute as well as be reminded of SKP jois message. "Do YOUR practice and all is coming." See I take that transalation as Your practice. Be it meditation, asana, kindness, etc...Just do your practice and everything will fall into place.

So in other yoga related news I am asking for this for my Christmas present
Not sure if I will find it under my tree but it was worth a shot to ask for huh?

And, I was asked to lead a gentle yoga practice during the break session of a Zazenkai. I intend to do so at their next one. Just some gentle asana to help with a full day of sitting meditation. I was honored that they asked me.

In other news my allergies are worse then they have ever been. Seriously. I am debating on going to see an allergist. I was tested last year to see if my allergies changed, and they have. But the past 2 weeks I've been waking up severly congested and havnig to live on Benedryl. Not good I know. But it is a requirment to be able to breathe and function. So far the ONLY medicine that is helping with this is Benedryl. So I am so sleepy most of the time.
Last night during our meditation with Bhante it took every ounce of energy I had to remain present and awake. I wanted to sleep so badly. So it didn't affect my meditation and I was not able to gain much from it rather than the idea that I need to see an allergist and get this under control. I mean this morning I woke up with my entire right nostril closed and unable to breathe. That is not how one should wake up!
And I can not continue to walk around in a zombified state either.

Sorry for such a long post, but my fingers kept going on the keyboard. :)
Have an amazing day!