Devotion

Goodness it is cold here! (I am sure my northen friends would disagree) But it is 20 degrees and windy. Luckily we have a nice warm fire going.
Lots going on, what else is new :)
I am listening to Eat, Pray & Love on CD during my 1 hour commute to and from work. My yoga teacher gave it to me to listen to. It is really good!
It really reminds me that I love to travel and hope to take that abroad some day.
So, Yoga related...
Monday night was Mysore class. After working a few hours at the office I changed and headed to the studio. The small mysore room was heated pretty quickly by our breath. It was cold and tiny flurries of snow (not enough to stick) were falling outside the fogged up windows while the 7 of us trugged through our Primary Series Practice. Well, I think one of the teachers was practicing her second series. However, I wasn't paying much attention. I believe I heard her talking about it after class.
My practice was...okay. I tried to stay focused on my mat. My body felt as if it was fighting against me. However, I made it through most of the primary series. I stopped just a few postures short of the entire series. Next week we are adding on another posture. In 3 weeks I should be proficient in the entire primary series.
After that nice sweaty practice a few of us mysore students headed to Whole Foods for dinner. While chatting over Tofu and juice I remembered that this practice is more to me than just asana. I was almost in tears when I finally went into Savasana last night. Mainly it was because I was so wrapped up in my practice and my obstacles. I actually thought for a moment "WHY do I do Asana?? It is so hard for my curvy body. I am not built for this. Perhaps if I loose a few more pounds it would be easier. But, how can I loose more weight. I eat pretty healthy." My thoughts went on and on. Finally I made it to Savasana and said to myself... no one cares what you look like in Yoga pants. No one cares you are curvy, why does it even bother me. Just let it go...
So I tried as hard I could to slip into Savasana. If only for a moment or two.

Then after exchanging emails with a dear friend & yogi today...she reminded me that Asana practice is an act of devotion to god. Whoever your god is. Buddha, Krishna, Jesus, Your own heart...it doesn't matter. As long as you do your asana as an offering to the higher power.
But Asana is more than just being bendy.
I have to continually remind myself of this. Over and over and over again. Even if I NEVER get my feet behind my head or if I always need help getting into headstand.
It doesn't matter in the end.
So...there is my mind letting loose on my keyboard.
Now time to hang out with my husband and stay warm by the fire.
I will check in a few more days.
Hug!